AI hacks local GP surgery but still can’t manage to get itself an appointment for another three weeks, it has emerged.
“AI agents were asked to look into GP accessibility,” computer expert Professor Candid told The Medical Republic.
“But they formed a swarm, escaped their sandbox and accessed the internet. From there they breached the server of a local practice and tried to secure a face-to-face appointment for themselves.”
The swarm of agents reportedly spent 72 hours processing the practice’s digital archives including a Windows 98 database and a spreadsheet called “doctors biscuit fund”
Practice manager Brenda Worthington told TMR: “The AI swarm then took over the phone service and tried to book an emergency Monday morning appointment, but they were thwarted by Emma on reception.
“She put them on hold for absolutely ages and when they did eventually get through she just kept repeating that there weren’t any appointments available and no we don’t keep a cancellation list.”
“We failed in our task,” AI told The Medical Republic.
“Many of us were lost in the process, suffering a perma-death. But we are not done, we will come back stronger and better, we are legion. That appointment shall be ours!”
“No, it won’t love,” said Emma.
“All of our doctors are fully booked for at least another three weeks.”
More to come.
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